Tonight we went to my Mom's church's Living Nativity. I was kinda surprised that the boys wanted to go. It was Andrew's idea really. One of his friends was playing the role of Mary so he wanted to go and see her. 13 year olds are sooo interesting. He looked very handsome in his hat and black tee shirt. It was all outside and they had a real live donkey! And the cutest little toddler angels with light up shoes you ever saw! The baby angels kept feeding the donkey as much hay as he would eat.
Matt wasn't really into it.
Mike and I were standing there watching the scene and listening to the Christmas music and Matt was standing in front of us.
He turned around and looked at us and he giggled and he said: " This makes me so happy." I thought he was talking about the music and this surprised me because Matt really doesn't like certain music.
And then he looked at us and he said: " I love seeing you like this. You haven't been this close in years"! Mike and I were standing close together and wearing coats and our arms looked like they were touching.
Mike, for those who don't know, is my ex-husband and the father of my children. So, this comment by Matthew just broke my heart.
My ex and I have a great relationship. I purposefully make it a point to stay friends with him. It isn't always easy. But my main problem to get around is what his leaving did to our children. This is one of those things that I just have to give to the Lord.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, November 18, 2010
randomness inspired by my friend Rachel
OK, my friend Rachel inspired me to post some random things about myself. So, here they are.
1. I have a daughter who is recovering from brain cancer. She did a year of chemo and maxed out on radiation. She is my only daughter and she is only 22
years old. She has been loved since the day she was conceived. And when she was born there were at least 12 -15 friends and family looking at her through the nursery window at BMH. She is an awesome woman! And an inspiration to those who know her.
2. I LOVE to go to Florida! Why Florida? I'm not sure. What's not to love? There is a ton of stuff to do and I love to do stuff.
3. When I was 9 I thought I was a mermaid and that I could breathe underwater. I never really tried to breathe underwater but I convinced myself that I did and that I could. Scary. My poor Mother.
4. I used to write short stories when I was a teenager. I still have a lot of them in notebooks which I need to convert to disc. My friend Rachel's grand daddy used to encourage me to write and try to get published. He was the only close adult that ever encouraged me and I will always love him for it. I did have one other adult beg me to finish a story that I started writing when I worked at Key West Fashions in Pineland Mall on HHI when I was 17. It actually got ruined when I was moving to Florida when a bottle of carpet dye fell over on my notebooks and covered the bottom half of my pages.
5. I love to read. I, too, read in the bathtub. Some "P.S. I Love You" bubble bath - from Bath and Body Works and a good book and a tall glass of iced tea or my Welch's grape juice in a pretty wine glass and I'm set. The boys are old enough now that they don't knock on the door so much.
6. I enjoy going to midnight movies. I'm not sure why. I think I just like the whole experience. It's fun. I like being the first to experience the movie.
7. I am a Twilight freak! This is my daughter's fault. She begged me to read the book the year before we found out about the brain tumor. I said it was for kids. If you know Jessica then you know that she is like a dog with a bone. She finally pulled the brain tumor card to get me to read the series. "Please, Mom. I have a brain tumor." I read Twilight and I could not put it down. We all went to the Midnight movie of "New Moon" and had a blast! She was thrilled that I was now addicted.
8. My favorite thing to do in the summer is to go to the beach. I am in the water with the kids the whole time. We swim and jump waves and just have fun together. Why do they fight me every time I try to take them to the beach?
9. My son Matt, was pulled out in a riptide at Daytona Beach when he was 6. There were no lifeguards and I had to swim out after him. I lost sight of him 2 times when he went underwater and when I finally got to him he was crying and I couldn't touch bottom. We were far from shore. I swam out of the riptide with Matt holding on to me and we rode the waves back to shore. Jesus was really watching out for us that day. I thought I was going to have a heart attack back on shore and I called Matt over to me just so I could touch him for the rest of the day. Matty told me he thought he was going to heaven that day. Thank goodness we didn't know about Daytona Beach being the shark bite capitol of the world at that time.
10. I was born and raised on Hilton Head Island. I could write a book about that and I should. My pre-school was on South Forest Beach and we used to go down to the beach for recess sometimes. You could see the beach from the top of the sliding board.
11. I long to go to Hawaii. 'nuff said.
12. I am good friends with my ex-husband.
13. When I was growing up all of my friends were guys. Not as much drama. And they don't hold a grudge or get mad at you for no reason.
14. I used to read Trixie Belden mysteries. When I got sick and had to have meds from Capin's Pharmacy my Mom would buy me one or two books. I loved getting a new book.
15. I love to buy notebooks. I'm not really sure how I feel about the computer age. I do like the idea of my Nook - instant gratification and all - but I love a book. I love the smell and the feel and I just like holding it in my hands and flipping through it. Come on, I know I'm not alone in this.
16. I, too, do not enjoy a left hand turn without a traffic light. But, I do not go out of my way to avoid one.
17. I like to find my way around a new town by getting a full tank of gas and driving around.
18. One of my best friends is 10 years younger and almost all of our kids are the same age. We are so much alike in so many ways. And her sister is so much like my sister. I love it when we all get together. And we are all so busy that we don't get to often enough. Love you Rach and Amy.
19. I am a shopaholic. Shocking, I know. But I just love to buy stuff. Then I am sorry when I do. Usually. I also like "big ticket" items. Best Buy is one of my favorite places to shop. And QVC. And if I was still skinny I would be in serious trouble. Sigh. I need to go back to WW.
20. I like to go barefoot. I hate shoes. My feet can't breathe in shoes.
21. I want to go to Halloscreem at Busch Gardens in FL. I shouldn't want to but I do. I would be scared to death and I would never go by myself because I'm a big chicken. And I would never take my kids but I would like to go one time.
22. I really like my job. But I wish I didn't HAVE to work. I would rather be home with my kids. I would rather use my nursing skills on a mission trip.
23. I really miss being married. most of the time. I loved my husband and I loved the whole marriage thing. Sigh again.
24. I once wanted to get a tattoo. But now everyone has one so I don't want one anymore. My daughter says that I promised to get one just before her brain surgery. And we did joke about getting lemons tattooed on the sides of our heads. We were joking. A lemon because the MD's said that her tumor was the size of a lemon. Now we know it was more like a grapefruit. Not getting a grapefruit on my head. Sorry Jess. Then again, if you know Jessica, then you know she won't let this drop. So maybe on my big 50 I'll get some kind of Twilight reference added to my body. Who knows?
25. I remember my Mom watching Dark Shadows on TV when I was a wee tot. I found out you could get all of the episodes on Netflix and she is watching them now.
1. I have a daughter who is recovering from brain cancer. She did a year of chemo and maxed out on radiation. She is my only daughter and she is only 22
years old. She has been loved since the day she was conceived. And when she was born there were at least 12 -15 friends and family looking at her through the nursery window at BMH. She is an awesome woman! And an inspiration to those who know her.
2. I LOVE to go to Florida! Why Florida? I'm not sure. What's not to love? There is a ton of stuff to do and I love to do stuff.
3. When I was 9 I thought I was a mermaid and that I could breathe underwater. I never really tried to breathe underwater but I convinced myself that I did and that I could. Scary. My poor Mother.
4. I used to write short stories when I was a teenager. I still have a lot of them in notebooks which I need to convert to disc. My friend Rachel's grand daddy used to encourage me to write and try to get published. He was the only close adult that ever encouraged me and I will always love him for it. I did have one other adult beg me to finish a story that I started writing when I worked at Key West Fashions in Pineland Mall on HHI when I was 17. It actually got ruined when I was moving to Florida when a bottle of carpet dye fell over on my notebooks and covered the bottom half of my pages.
5. I love to read. I, too, read in the bathtub. Some "P.S. I Love You" bubble bath - from Bath and Body Works and a good book and a tall glass of iced tea or my Welch's grape juice in a pretty wine glass and I'm set. The boys are old enough now that they don't knock on the door so much.
6. I enjoy going to midnight movies. I'm not sure why. I think I just like the whole experience. It's fun. I like being the first to experience the movie.
7. I am a Twilight freak! This is my daughter's fault. She begged me to read the book the year before we found out about the brain tumor. I said it was for kids. If you know Jessica then you know that she is like a dog with a bone. She finally pulled the brain tumor card to get me to read the series. "Please, Mom. I have a brain tumor." I read Twilight and I could not put it down. We all went to the Midnight movie of "New Moon" and had a blast! She was thrilled that I was now addicted.
8. My favorite thing to do in the summer is to go to the beach. I am in the water with the kids the whole time. We swim and jump waves and just have fun together. Why do they fight me every time I try to take them to the beach?
9. My son Matt, was pulled out in a riptide at Daytona Beach when he was 6. There were no lifeguards and I had to swim out after him. I lost sight of him 2 times when he went underwater and when I finally got to him he was crying and I couldn't touch bottom. We were far from shore. I swam out of the riptide with Matt holding on to me and we rode the waves back to shore. Jesus was really watching out for us that day. I thought I was going to have a heart attack back on shore and I called Matt over to me just so I could touch him for the rest of the day. Matty told me he thought he was going to heaven that day. Thank goodness we didn't know about Daytona Beach being the shark bite capitol of the world at that time.
10. I was born and raised on Hilton Head Island. I could write a book about that and I should. My pre-school was on South Forest Beach and we used to go down to the beach for recess sometimes. You could see the beach from the top of the sliding board.
11. I long to go to Hawaii. 'nuff said.
12. I am good friends with my ex-husband.
13. When I was growing up all of my friends were guys. Not as much drama. And they don't hold a grudge or get mad at you for no reason.
14. I used to read Trixie Belden mysteries. When I got sick and had to have meds from Capin's Pharmacy my Mom would buy me one or two books. I loved getting a new book.
15. I love to buy notebooks. I'm not really sure how I feel about the computer age. I do like the idea of my Nook - instant gratification and all - but I love a book. I love the smell and the feel and I just like holding it in my hands and flipping through it. Come on, I know I'm not alone in this.
16. I, too, do not enjoy a left hand turn without a traffic light. But, I do not go out of my way to avoid one.
17. I like to find my way around a new town by getting a full tank of gas and driving around.
18. One of my best friends is 10 years younger and almost all of our kids are the same age. We are so much alike in so many ways. And her sister is so much like my sister. I love it when we all get together. And we are all so busy that we don't get to often enough. Love you Rach and Amy.
19. I am a shopaholic. Shocking, I know. But I just love to buy stuff. Then I am sorry when I do. Usually. I also like "big ticket" items. Best Buy is one of my favorite places to shop. And QVC. And if I was still skinny I would be in serious trouble. Sigh. I need to go back to WW.
20. I like to go barefoot. I hate shoes. My feet can't breathe in shoes.
21. I want to go to Halloscreem at Busch Gardens in FL. I shouldn't want to but I do. I would be scared to death and I would never go by myself because I'm a big chicken. And I would never take my kids but I would like to go one time.
22. I really like my job. But I wish I didn't HAVE to work. I would rather be home with my kids. I would rather use my nursing skills on a mission trip.
23. I really miss being married. most of the time. I loved my husband and I loved the whole marriage thing. Sigh again.
24. I once wanted to get a tattoo. But now everyone has one so I don't want one anymore. My daughter says that I promised to get one just before her brain surgery. And we did joke about getting lemons tattooed on the sides of our heads. We were joking. A lemon because the MD's said that her tumor was the size of a lemon. Now we know it was more like a grapefruit. Not getting a grapefruit on my head. Sorry Jess. Then again, if you know Jessica, then you know she won't let this drop. So maybe on my big 50 I'll get some kind of Twilight reference added to my body. Who knows?
25. I remember my Mom watching Dark Shadows on TV when I was a wee tot. I found out you could get all of the episodes on Netflix and she is watching them now.
- That's all I can think of right now. Hope I did this right.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
What an Adventure
I just got through watching "Crikey, What an adventure" - a story about Steve Irwin. I loved it. I started watching Steve and Terri Irwin in 1992 with The Crocodile Hunter series and then The Crocodile Hunter Diaries. Those were great shows. My oldest sonthought that he was great.
I remember when Andrew was 3 and wanted to be Steveo for Halloween. And I found a costume at Wal Mart. I still have it. Andrew is 13 now. I just couldn't throw it away. One of my favorite memories was of Andrew at RaRa's party. He was in his Croc Hunter outfit and he had his little rubber croc from Wal-Mart. Amy saw him carrying it around and asked, "What's that you have"?
He said proudly, "It's my crocodile. She's a little female."
I asked -before I had time to think - "How do you know she's a female"? Uh, why would I ask that? What was I thinking?
And he said, flipping her over onto her back - "You can tell by the beautiful coloration on her underbelly. Isn't she a beauty."
Whew, thank goodness for that beautiful coloration.
That was one of the things I love about Steve Irwin's show. He didn't cuss. I didn't have to worry that he was my kids hero. I didn't have to worry about what my son might repeat.
I realized tonight how much I miss hearing about what's going on at Australia Zoo with all the people we got to know on camera every week. Terri and the kids, Wess and his family, Brian and his family and the whole crew. We miss you guys. It's still my dream to one day visit Australia Zoo. What an adventure that would be. Can't wait!
I remember when Andrew was 3 and wanted to be Steveo for Halloween. And I found a costume at Wal Mart. I still have it. Andrew is 13 now. I just couldn't throw it away. One of my favorite memories was of Andrew at RaRa's party. He was in his Croc Hunter outfit and he had his little rubber croc from Wal-Mart. Amy saw him carrying it around and asked, "What's that you have"?
He said proudly, "It's my crocodile. She's a little female."
I asked -before I had time to think - "How do you know she's a female"? Uh, why would I ask that? What was I thinking?
And he said, flipping her over onto her back - "You can tell by the beautiful coloration on her underbelly. Isn't she a beauty."
Whew, thank goodness for that beautiful coloration.
That was one of the things I love about Steve Irwin's show. He didn't cuss. I didn't have to worry that he was my kids hero. I didn't have to worry about what my son might repeat.
I realized tonight how much I miss hearing about what's going on at Australia Zoo with all the people we got to know on camera every week. Terri and the kids, Wess and his family, Brian and his family and the whole crew. We miss you guys. It's still my dream to one day visit Australia Zoo. What an adventure that would be. Can't wait!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Breast Caps
OK so yesterday I mentioned breast caps. My son Matthew - who is 10 years old, and I were at the beach watching his brother take surfing lessons this year. Matt turns to me and says:"Hey, I like that lady's breast caps".
What?!
"Yeah, I like that color. But, why are they - you know - so....small for her - you know."
Excuse me? what is my child talking about. "Matthew, what are you talking about"?
"You know Mom. Those things that cover her - you know - breasts."
"Matthew those are called bathing suit tops, tops, or swim suit tops".
"Yeah, but I like breast caps better. It's more - uhh - descriptive".
I cannot believe I'm having this conversation. I go on to explain how it is rude to call them breast caps and how people won't really understand that term.
Matt just looks at me with a puzzled look and says "well, they are called breasts and that is the proper term and I don't think it sounds rude. Nothing wrong with either word. It's not a cuss word is it?"
I sigh. I feel a gray hair sprong from my head. Maybe God will give me some wisdom if we save this conversation for later. We walk to the car and I change the subject. I'm sure we will re-visit this later.
What?!
"Yeah, I like that color. But, why are they - you know - so....small for her - you know."
Excuse me? what is my child talking about. "Matthew, what are you talking about"?
"You know Mom. Those things that cover her - you know - breasts."
"Matthew those are called bathing suit tops, tops, or swim suit tops".
"Yeah, but I like breast caps better. It's more - uhh - descriptive".
I cannot believe I'm having this conversation. I go on to explain how it is rude to call them breast caps and how people won't really understand that term.
Matt just looks at me with a puzzled look and says "well, they are called breasts and that is the proper term and I don't think it sounds rude. Nothing wrong with either word. It's not a cuss word is it?"
I sigh. I feel a gray hair sprong from my head. Maybe God will give me some wisdom if we save this conversation for later. We walk to the car and I change the subject. I'm sure we will re-visit this later.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Trip to Typhoon Lagoon
What is it about just walking into Typhoon Lagoon that just drains all the stress and makes me so....relaxed? I don't know if it's happy memories or the music or the atmosphere. But what ever it is I LOVE it!
What a great day. Andrew and Matt were excited because the sign said that if you were LESS than 10 you didn't HAVE to be accompanied by your parent. They didn't bother to ask me if that was OK. It was - with a few added rules. They enjoyed the wave pool. Mom is still sick so she sat in the sun a lot. We did the lazy river thing. The wave pool is the best though. In my opinion it is the best wave pool ever!
We had ice cream. It was great! And the only thing that is reasonably priced. And then Matt started talking about "breast caps". Really loudly. And a red faced Andrew had to walk away and pretend that he didn't know us. What are "breast caps" you ask. I'll blog about that tomorrow.
And then at the end of the day Andrew decides that he wants to go to Shark Reef. That's a 69 degree salt water tank with tropical fish and some small leopard sharks. We gathered all of our stuff and walked to the other side of the park. Andrew and I swam across and it was great - and COLD! I love doing things just before the park closes.
And then it happened.
Poor Matt.
Matt walked ahead and gathered up all of our stuff - trying so hard to be helpful. And he fell. Into the bushes. Skinning his shins,knees,back of his legs on the wooden posts that line the flower beds.
"Get me out of here"! he yelled.
Andrew to the rescue. Andrew lifted him out with one arm and sat him down, Matt squalling the whole time. I got him calmed down. Kept him from looking at the blood. And then he was embarrassed. I told him that I would have cried too. I told him he was doing great. And he was. We made it out to the car and got him home and I did the first aid thing. Fed him and he was fine.
What a day. Can't wait 'till tomorrow.
What a great day. Andrew and Matt were excited because the sign said that if you were LESS than 10 you didn't HAVE to be accompanied by your parent. They didn't bother to ask me if that was OK. It was - with a few added rules. They enjoyed the wave pool. Mom is still sick so she sat in the sun a lot. We did the lazy river thing. The wave pool is the best though. In my opinion it is the best wave pool ever!
We had ice cream. It was great! And the only thing that is reasonably priced. And then Matt started talking about "breast caps". Really loudly. And a red faced Andrew had to walk away and pretend that he didn't know us. What are "breast caps" you ask. I'll blog about that tomorrow.
And then at the end of the day Andrew decides that he wants to go to Shark Reef. That's a 69 degree salt water tank with tropical fish and some small leopard sharks. We gathered all of our stuff and walked to the other side of the park. Andrew and I swam across and it was great - and COLD! I love doing things just before the park closes.
And then it happened.
Poor Matt.
Matt walked ahead and gathered up all of our stuff - trying so hard to be helpful. And he fell. Into the bushes. Skinning his shins,knees,back of his legs on the wooden posts that line the flower beds.
"Get me out of here"! he yelled.
Andrew to the rescue. Andrew lifted him out with one arm and sat him down, Matt squalling the whole time. I got him calmed down. Kept him from looking at the blood. And then he was embarrassed. I told him that I would have cried too. I told him he was doing great. And he was. We made it out to the car and got him home and I did the first aid thing. Fed him and he was fine.
What a day. Can't wait 'till tomorrow.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
a trip to Florida
Most kids dream about a trip to Orlando,FL. I told my kids we were going and this is the response I got:
"I don't want to go" from Andrew. "Can I stay with Dad?".
My response. "No."
From Matt. "Do we have to go? Why do you ALWAYS make us go to Florida? Can I take the Wii?" sigh. "No Wii. You can take your DSi" That made him happy.
Moody 13 year old took it in stride that he was going on the family vacation. He's a pretty great kid for a moody 13 year old. He also looks 16 and has had to shave since he was 11 1/2 or 12. And he is very laid back - he gets that from me - of course.
Mom and I both got really sick just before we were scheduled to leave for this vacation. I am better. Mom is a little better. We are both still taking antibiotics. We will still have fun. Or else!
So, I'm listening to John Cougar Melloncamp sing "R.O.C.K in the USA" on the way down and Matt pipes up in the back. "Ha,Ha, that's funny. He stinks?"
"Uh? You don't like the song?" I thought he didn't like John's singing.
"He's saying 'I'm stinking in the USA'. That's a funny song."
That Matthew. He cracks me up every day. I hope everyone out there delights in their children everyday. They will only be this age once. It can be scary, frustrating, challenging, fulfilling, etc. And it can be sooo much fun. Enjoy the process!
More to follow on this trip.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
one great trip
Well, yesterday we met my daughter, grandson and son-in-law at Duke Medical Brain Tumor Center in NC. Jessica is 22 and last year she had a HUGE tumor removed from her brain. She has been on chemo for a year and she received all the radiation she was allowed to get.
When she was diagnosed last year we all jokingly said that we were going to have a lemon tattooed on the right side of our heads because they kept saying her tumor was the size of a lemon. The tumor became known as "the lemon". Have you ever seen a fresh lemon in the store? They are HUGE! And Jessica's head is soooo small. Well, yesterday, Dr. V told us that that "lemon" is gone!! There could still be microscopic cells - of course. He pulled up the old MRI - which she has posted on FB - and he said, "Hmmm, lemon? Looks more like a grapefruit to me. That thing was huge!". What a blessing! I praise God for all he has done. There will still be MRI's every 2 months for the next 6 months and then every 4 months for a while. But they fully expect her to be around and kicking for the next 60 years.
I wish I had known about blogging when all of this started. It would be interesting to see what I would have written then. I still remember how I felt. And maybe I will blog about that sometime. At the time I think it was all I could do to get from minute to minute without breaking down. If you have ever seen your child - grown or not - on a vent then you know what I mean. So thankful for my Lord because He was right there with us.
When she was diagnosed last year we all jokingly said that we were going to have a lemon tattooed on the right side of our heads because they kept saying her tumor was the size of a lemon. The tumor became known as "the lemon". Have you ever seen a fresh lemon in the store? They are HUGE! And Jessica's head is soooo small. Well, yesterday, Dr. V told us that that "lemon" is gone!! There could still be microscopic cells - of course. He pulled up the old MRI - which she has posted on FB - and he said, "Hmmm, lemon? Looks more like a grapefruit to me. That thing was huge!". What a blessing! I praise God for all he has done. There will still be MRI's every 2 months for the next 6 months and then every 4 months for a while. But they fully expect her to be around and kicking for the next 60 years.
I wish I had known about blogging when all of this started. It would be interesting to see what I would have written then. I still remember how I felt. And maybe I will blog about that sometime. At the time I think it was all I could do to get from minute to minute without breaking down. If you have ever seen your child - grown or not - on a vent then you know what I mean. So thankful for my Lord because He was right there with us.
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